Don't get me wrong; there was a time that I was a trendy Mac user. I loved my macbook. I loved the way it looked, the way that you had to re-learn how to use a computer, and the way that people who saw me using it automatically thought I was interesting and had a lot of money. As a kid who occasionally wore sweatpants to school for days at a time (my choice, not necessity; I just didn't know how to appropriately dress to appear in public), looking like I had a lot of money was something I was not used to. Now I have an hp, and, though it is cool-looking and has a snazzy fingerprint scanner, I automatically look like I am in a lower tax bracket than I did before (when I was living on Pell Grant and making exactly no money of my own, as opposed to now, when I have a full-time job). But I'm okay with that. Because, right about the same time I gave up my Mac, I realized that I actually didn't want anything to do with Apple anymore.
Why? Is it because I hate anything trendy and want to be the cool rebel without a cause? Is it because you see Macs more often on the liberal side of the spectrum? Nah, for one I don't care what political label you have. And I'm not against being trendy; otherwise I'd still be wearing the aforementioned sweatpants. No, my reasons are (I feel) much more valid than that. I feel like Apple perpetuates the idea that it doesn't matter what you can do, as long as you're skinny and pretty. I feel like Apple adds all this extra stuff to their product. It can't just be a computer. It has to make you a part of a community. If you don't have this, you're not part of the club and you should feel bad about yourself until you do. Apple products don't play well with others. The products aren't even actually better than their microsoft/droid counterparts, and I feel like Apple is this glowing beacon that is the source of a worldwide mind control conspiracy, like the brain up on the dias in A Wrinkle in Time.
Allow me to elaborate. First, the image. I remember when the iPad came out. The commercial that aired went like this: "What is the iPad? iPad is thin. iPad is beautiful." Right there. That's a problem. Before telling us anything about its capabilities, you've told us that it's pretty. We take ideas like this from the media and apply it to people. Who cares what you can do, sweetheart, just be thin and pretty. What if someone doesn't meet this societal definition of perfect? What then? Are Apple products the source of eating disorders and depression in young people? No. But perpetuating ideas like that does not help, either. Every new product that they come out with seems to be on a mission to get so thin it disappears altogether when turned sideways. The Simpsons knocked at this a bit with a laptop that actually does disappear when looked at from the side, and Homer had to buy it. Nevermind that being that skinny is actually not good for the computer; surely it would be more breakable than a thicker model. Nevermind that being that skinny and continuing to hold onto that ideal is unhealthy for people in general. It makes money, and because it goes along with the cultural definition of beauty, we want one. Now. Skinnier.
The community. For some people this is a good thing, the idea that you are a part of something greater when you own an Apple product. But we have to remember that it is primarily a computer. Or a phone. It is not your in-card to sit at the popular table. When you buy a windows computer or a droid phone, you know that you are buying a computer or a phone. The product can do the following things, which are clearly laid out to you. But when you buy an Apple product, you are buying THE COOL THING OMG OMGOMG, and they don't really have to tell you what it can do. Oh, they do, in small letters, somewhere at the bottom. In a Best Buy ad, the specs are listed clearly next to all "PC"s (PC is in quotes because it stands for personal computer, which an Apple technically still is. Can we stop with this false dichotomy, please?). But when advertising Apple products, all they need to say is IT'S THE NEWEST GREATEST APPLE PRODUCT OHWOWZERS! and people line up at the door. They want to be a part of something, a part of this other thing that the company adds, because it can't just produce a phone or a computer. It has to produce a social movement, an in-crowd, someone to rule the social world. Why? According to philosopher Slavoj Zizek, a true product is one which delivers on exactly the promise it makes, no more, no less. By this definition, Apple does not make true products. Apple relies on this extra layer of social revolution and cool factor to sell their computers and phones. People will buy ANYTHING, as long as it's the newest Apple, even if it is NOT the newest Apple. Watch this video, taken from the Jimmy Kimmel show: HERE !! It doesn't even have to be new, you just have to be told it's new, and people will worship it. Clearly, this has nothing to do with what kind of product it is or what it can do. It's that extra layer of stuff that people are after. And it feels disingenuous to me.
Come to the dark side.....
Apple used to have these commercials with Justin Long and Some Old Guy that were intended to make macs look like the thing cool, hipster kids had and "PCs" were the things stupid old uncool corporate douches had. The "Mac" would say something, the "PC" would rebuttal, then crash dramatically, and Justin Long would finish with "I'm a Mac, and [something smarmy]." I remember thinking they should have a commercial with Justin Long and Old Guy out on a playground where a lot of people are asking them to play (Maybe not kids, because that could get into creepytown). Justin Long is being a snobby prick, while the "PC" shares his toys, runs around playing chase, or whatever it is people do. Then at the end "Mac" would say, "i'm a mac and... GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" and "PC" would say "I'm a PC and I play well with others." I have never had more compatibility issues than when I was a Mac-user. My printer HATED the mac, with the red-hot passion of a thousand firey suns. The Mac must have said something extremely insulting to the printer once when I was out of the room making a pita-pizza, because any time I hit ctrl+p, IT WAS A FIREFIGHT! Nothing would happen. Ever. Printer would just there, being stubborn and wait for Mac to apologize. Mac wouldn't apologize because Mac was an unapologetic jerk, and whatever Printer said back must have really pissed him off. Meanwhile I would be late for class. Cool. I'm a Mac user, and I took out a loan to buy this thing that doesn't communicate with any external technology. Oh, but Mac can be compatible, as long as you have an extra small fortune on you to purchase all the necessary connector cables. Isn't that kind of a pyramid scheme or something? In order to have this expensive project, you also have to purchase these expensive products or it won't be able to do the things that cheaper products do naturally. Yet people buy them!
Now let me get into quality. The day I bought my computer, it was as good as or better than every Mac in the store, and it cost about 1/2 to 1/3 the price of the Macs. In college, I took out a loan so I could be a Mac Person, and I bought a shiny new Macbook that was white (so yellow a few years later, sounds great to me...) and didn't have a right-click function. What?! Over a thousand dollars and didn't right-click?! Oh, sure, it did right-click, as long as you had a mouse (another $60) or were willing to press TWO keys to accomplish the same task as pressing one. Sounds reasonable, and not at all unnecessary. I swear, that seems to me like a big joke at the Mac plant. I can picture a guy going, "Hey Charlie. Get in here. Check this out. So I'm about to ship this, right? It's about as good as most PCs out there, but costs three times more, and -- *snicker* -- are you ready for this? It has no right click button!!" Then his coworker would throw his hat on the ground and say, "Are you crazy, Mac?! Nobody's gonna buy that!" But then Mac would say, "Oh yes they will. Because we're going to get inside their heads and manipulate them into thinking they need it." And therein lies the problem. Macbooks have no right click. If a part breaks on your Macbook (and you didn't pay the extra $200 in insurance --WHAT?!), you're SOL unless you want to buy a new Macbook (which they will try to bully you into doing). Mine still doesn't have a disc drive, because it would have been something in the ballpark of $100 to replace it, whereas if my hp laptop's drive breaks it'll be around $30 or so on amazon/ebay. iMacs are essentially just a big screen with all the processing stuff in the back, which is hugely impractical when it comes to fixing a computer. The Macbook Air feels like the slightest wind would break it into pieces and it doesn't eve have a CD drive. The iPad makes me sweaty just looking at it and imagining holding a $700 thing over the floor with one hand so as not to smudge its perfect screen. If you really think about it, these are not good qualities. And they cost more than twice as much as other products, but people still buy them. It feels like mind control, and I'll come back to that idea.
Apple also has this smarmy air about them where they like to claim (read: lie) that they were the first company to ever do anything. Guess what, Apple? Watching a movie in bed on a small screen is not revolutionary. A handheld electronic book was done before your bigger, more awkward version came out. And iPhone was not the first touch screen smart phone. But they act like they are, sometimes going as far as to say "The thinnest smartphone yet" (Michael's Sony was thinner that the iPhones we compared it to) or "The biggest display on a laptop/computer yet" (nope, no it's not). But people want to hear this. They want to feel special, they want to feel like they're better than everyone else. This desire lies at the core of all of us, and Apple exploits the mess out of it.
This brings me to the mind control piece. When I bought my laptop, the Best Buy guy kept saying, "Well, Apple will always be superior." confused, we asked why. My computer had better specs, a faster, newer processor... "Apple is just always better," he kept repeating. So often, in fact, that I wanted to ask him if Apple had his family somewhere. "Are they...watching you?" Then he said what everyone says when they talk about Apple products, say it with me: "YOU'LL NEVER GET A VIRUS." I've got news for you, pal. Apples can get viruses. They aren't just magical ant-virus boxes. But viruses aren't that scary anymore anyway. As long as you have a good antivirus (that isn't Norton or McAfee), and you run a scan regularly, you should be fine on any computer. Yet this no virus promise is still spouted like a politician saying "We'll totally bring the troops home..." It doesn't really mean anything. It feels like at the heart of the Apple corporation is a wizard who has everyone under the Imperious Curse. Why do people keep buying these things? Products that aren't any better, that in some ways are worse, that are several times more expensive, just to be cool?
And why do I care? Why can't I just let people buy what they want to buy and stay out of it? Because, I guess, the marketing is so good that sometimes, dammit, in spite of everything I've just said, I still want to sit at the cool kids' table. I want to have the thinnest phone on the market, and I want everyone to know that I have a lot of money and to think I'm cool. I hate this about myself, and I guess I hate seeing Apple products because it speaks to that sleeping girl who just figured out you can't wear sweatpants to school every day. The girl who realized that you do need to brush your hair and appearances do matter. The girl who, sometimes, wanted to be a cheerleader because it was cool, and who fell for every trend every year in school.
I don't think Apple-users are bad people, and I don't hate them. I have a lot of friends and family who are Apple people, and I love them dearly. I know I'm coming across as incredibly judgmental with this, but my intention is more to examine this trend than to make people feel bad for liking something trendy. We all like trendy things. I bought this robotic dog in Nebraska and I loved it to pieces for about two days. Then I realized it was freaking annoying and locked it in the bathroom cupboard for roughly six years. I had Furbies, beanie babies, and (as you know already) even a Macbook. so I really have no room to talk I guess. Inside all of us there is a loser longing to be cool, and somewhere out there is a company ready to exploit that and provide us with the fleeting popularity we crave, if only for a minute.
