Now, I complain about this a lot. But, I'm rarely ever actually specific about what it is I hate so much about this series. And, since I want to tear something apart, and this is the only thing I can legally do that to, here we go!
Reason #1: The writing
Okay. I know that within the realm of creative writing, there has to be some room for, well, creativity. I majored in it and everything; I know the rules. I also know that, if you are going to break the rules, there has to be a reason. It has to be "intentional and necessary," as my thesis mentor constantly reminded me. Twilight (which I am too lazy to put in italics, and seeing as it shouldn't be a book, I feel it does not really even deserve italics) doesn't seem to have a literary reason. Reading this book I just wonder constantly "was the editor of this coming in and out of a coma while doing their job?"
There are tense issues, subject-verb agreement issues, comma splices (which we all make, but I mean come on. That IS why there are editors in the publication world), awkward and unnatural dialogue, big words that don't mean what she thinks they mean, big words that she chose to sound smart, and way, WAY too many adverbs -- to name a few of the problems. If you need an example, check out the blog Reasoning with Vampires, in which author Dana breaks the books down one-by-one, line-by-line in some cases, and red-pens the whole freaking thing. It's pretty spectacular and it is also quite educational. Yeah, I majored in English and hope to teach it, but I still don't know everything.
Need an example? Take your pick. Educational and hilarious, and the blog is full of them. It's become a favorite past time, for when I need something to hate.
"But Kimmy," you might say. "Twilight is written imperfectly because it is from the voice of a teenager! It focuses on what she sees, and her voice is that of a 16-year-old girl."
No. Her voice is that of a 10-year old girl. I return to the previous statement: If you are going to break a rule in writing, is has to be intentional. Reading Twilight, it just seems like there is no editor, not like I am reading a real adolescent girl's thoughts. This is in large part because the writer makes NO effort to give the narrator any kind of personal characteristics to actually define her voice. In fact, the narration is so hollow, even in times of action, that I felt like the whole series was nothing more than a flashback. It started flat, never really rose, and ended on the same plateau.
"But wait!" You might call out, pointer clicking on the X in this window -- done with my complaining already. "The writer left her hollow so you, the reader, could fill in yourself in her shoes!"
Ah, you thought you had me with that, didn't you? Yes, I've heard this one many a time from team Twilighters. But here's the thing: As a writer, you HAVE to develop a character. You absolutely can NOT leave it bland so people can fill themselves in. You don't have to have anything in common with a character to be able to relate to them; the character could even remind you of someone, or maybe could have traits you wish you had yourself. You know what I'm not, and will never be? A boy, a wizard, the "chosen one" for any kind of grand quest, owner of a snowy owl, British, expert broom-flyer.... But you know what book series I will love forever, and am legitimately sad that I can never read again for the first time? Harry Potter. Why? Because, even though Harry and I have very little in common, I like him as a character, and I genuinely care what happens to him. The only -- repeat -- ONLY thing that we know about Bella -- the only thing that seems to matter at all is that she loves Edward. So, if we don't love Edward, we have absolutely nothing with which to relate to her. And as it happens... I don't love Edward. At all. Which brings me to number two...
Reason #2: The Message
Sure, so the character is bland and lifeless, the writing is as polished as a middle schooler's first draft, and all we know is that she loves this guy. Sometimes this other guy, too, but usually just the first guy. The one she ends up with and has what is literally a demon spawn child with.
Wow, she has a baby with him? A baby that nearly kills her as it grows inside her? He must be a great guy, really worth all this time!
Not even remotely. He stalks her, he cuts he brakes, he watches her sleep (after breaking in to her house), he repeatedly mentions how easily he could kill her (which only causes her to praise him for holding back), he also repeatedly mentions how bad for him she is, how bad for her he is... none of this is sounding like a good kind of guy. Oh, and he breaks up with her. In a forest. Then she goes catatonic for like 6 months, finally lets herself start to be happy again (Even though she intentionally puts herself in danger just to hallucinate that he is with her.....) he comes back into her life and she's all "Oh of course I forgive you! Turn me into a vampire LOL!" Because it's okay for a guy to hurt you that badly, as long as he's sorry enough afterwards.
No. No it is not. And young girls should not be reading these books hoping to find their "Edward." Bella should not have been left empty for girls to fill themselves in, because she does nothing even a little admirable as a character. She hates herself, constantly puts herself down, insists that she isn't good enough for the vampire who dumped her in the woods just after her birthday (yeah. That happened), is a terrible, manipulative friend to those close to her, and ultimately only cares about one thing/person. Who, as I have already established is not worthy of her care and/or attention.
In closing...
to be perfectly honest, this is only the tip of the iceberg. There are other issues, like the half-assed allusions to famous classics (STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO ROMEO AND JULIET!!), the fact that Bella claims to be such a star in literature but can't string a sentence together, and the general jealousy that this writer is famous and I'm not...
But I'm going to end it here. Also...
Suggested reading
So, smart girl, what should we read?
Other authors have managed to pull off the teenager voice while still creating characters that are sympathetic and interesting. For example...
-Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (I'm only on book one, but I like his voice. He sounds like a middle-schooler, he gets embarrassed when a girl grabs his hand, yet I don't have to read the book and correct it as I go or "fill myself in" to the character)
-Going Bovine by Libba Bray (You want a book that is straight from a careless high school kid? This is your book. Drug references and F-bombs everywhere, but there is heart to this book and heart to this character. And guess what? You don't have to picture yourself as the main character because there already is a clear main character!)
-Harry Potter (not in first person, but still fanciful and a truly wonderful adventure of a book series)
-The Hunger Games (outstandingly well-written and characters that you alternate between hating and loving, but never loathing in quite the same way that you feel for every Twilight character)
Yes, that is also essentially a list of my favorite books. But they do what Twilight tries to do. Actually, the story that she attempted to tell could have been a good one. But there are so many flaws, that if it had been placed on my editing table, I would tell her to start over and tell a story that has redeemable characters, sentences that make sense, and a message that will actually help her readers. "The most important thing in life is to have a boyfriend, even if he's undead, a hundred years old, and basically abusive." doesn't cut it.
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