It's been a few days, but I wanted to document the dress-buying process, in part so that I don't forget it myself. I would have started this sooner, but the day I got home after buying The Dress, I sneezed. Immediately after, I felt my throat start to tighten and burn in that "you're about to get sick, better stock up on the sinus medicine" kind of way. So I spent the rest of that day and the next under blankets, binging on Netflix with the fiancé. Being sick isn't fun, but under the circumstances, I've had worse days...
So the dress story. My mom's friend from high school owns this dress shop in Augusta. It's two hours away, but we really wanted to go there first, hopefully even buy it there. Jane was my mom's maid of honor, and my mom was hers. I went with my mom and my maid of honor, Heather, and surveyed the shop, trying to force it to sink in.
It didn't, not right away. It was hard to make myself believe that I was at a dress shop, that I would try on wedding dresses, and that I might, maybe, if I was really lucky, try on and buy the one I'd be getting married in. Ended a sentence with a preposition. Deal with it.
I pulled a few dresses that I thought I might like, then I let Jane take over. Soon we had about six hanging up in the dressing room. I changed into my dress-trying undergarments that the store provides (kind of cool, I think) and selected the first one I would try on. I justified this choice by saying that I wanted to knock out one that I was pretty sure wouldn't be The One, so I could save the best for last. I just really didn't want to end before I'd began by trying on my favorite right away. Jane didn't like this logic. She asked me why I was trying one on at all, if I knew I wouldn't like it. She explained that she likes to have brides try on their favorites first, and then they try to knock it out of first place. This made sense too, so we decided a favorite would be next, and I debuted dress number one.
It wasn't a huge hit. It was pretty, and I loved the bottom of it, but it wasn't my dress, and we all knew it. So we went back to the drawing room and put on number two. And, for the rest of the appointment, I was pretty sure that would be the one.
It was a champagne, slim A-line gown with a lace overlay and a champagne bow. I'd never wanted a champagne dress, but this one really was beautiful, and if I do say so myself, I looked good in it. The bow... the bow kind of nagged at me, but we tried a variety of bows, ribbons, belts, and sashes, and I didn't find anything I liked more, so I resigned that the bow was just a part of the dress. We forged on, with the champagne dress firmly in the number one spot.
I won't narrate every dress, because I don't remember them all separately, and I'm really okay with that. There were a few fit-and-flares that made me a little more curvy than I was comfortable with. There was a really oddly-shaped one that was a beautiful dress in its own right, but it was just not my dress. There was a cousin to the champagne lacey number, with a larger lace pattern and a prettier sash right under the bust line. There was a dress fit for a princess, the kind that I would have wanted a few years ago when I wanted a tiara and lots of sparkles, but not now. It was getting tedious. I was worrying that my dress might not be there. Then we put on The Almost.
It wasn't The Almost at first. At first, I could just about see it. The longer I spent in it, the closer and closer I came to saying it was the one. I considered putting the champagne one back on, maybe two or three more times. We started accessorizing. Veil, necklace, earring (just one earring. Not sure why). The more we added to it, the more it started to look like it belonged in a wedding. Just not my wedding. I couldn't really describe it. The dress was so fun, and so me, and so unique. I started to panic. I had my top two, but there was just something... off about both of them. If these were the best ones, what if I couldn't find anything better here? Don't get me wrong -- they were both stunning. They just didn't feel like mine. I didn't feel like I was getting married. It still didn't feel real. I announced that I was tired of standing. I needed to sit down. Heather started telling me stories from work to distract me, while my mom jumped into the dressing room and tried on Mother of the Bride dresses. People were swarming me, asking if this was The Dress, telling me to trust my gut and just say yes. I tried to explain that I am not someone who can trust her gut, thanks to a life of overthinking and decision anxiety. I just sat there, too scared to admit the truth: this had stopped being fun.
As I was sitting, Jane poked around the racks some more and emerged with another dress. It was very much like the dress I was wearing, but it had one major difference (for fear of giving away too much before the big day, I won't talk about that difference, so whether this post is completely pointless or not is your decision to make). I agreed to try it on. Like the dress before it, I covered my eyes while I was being laced and clipped into the dress. I turned the corner and walked up to the pedestal, still not looking.
When I finally opened my eyes, I was completely speechless. I wasn't sure if there would be a Moment, like they show on TV, but here it was. I actually even started crying, which caused everyone else to cry as well. We immediately started snapping pictures -- pictures of me in the dress, pictures of Heather and me hugging through our happy tears, pictures of my mom and me, pictures with Jane proudly pointing to herself because she had picked the dress that was responsible for so much emotion. This time it was easy. I could see Michael seeing me in this. I could see our wedding, and this dress was everything I'd wanted. Jane had somehow managed to take in all the semi-formed thoughts I'd supplied her and pull a dress that was all the things. I said, without hesitation, "I'm going to get married in this dress!" At that moment, I was okay with the appointment being over. I didn't need to see anything else in the store. I knew that any other dress I saw, on a mannequin or anywhere else, might be beautiful but it wouldn't be my dress -- because THIS was My Dress. I spent the rest of the day floating, imagining the moment that I will walk down the aisle toward my groom in my dress.
Now, I have a little less than nine months until he (and everyone else) sees it. How am I going to wait that long??
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